Forgot my Me…
It changed me wholly, and that too terribly. Time changed my thoughts, my ways of thinking. How..?? Time made me mean and in the meantime it made me confident too..!! Should I be thankful..??
The more I grew up, the more meanness I welcomed, the more confidence entered. Time showed me a wrong path, an avenue which showered flowers on each step I took forward..!! Should I be thankful..??
I got hurt and learnt disbelief, mistrust. My heart cried and cried and helped me learn how to wipe, kill, dry and bury them in my head box. Time taught me to murder my Self..!! Should I be thankful..??
My emotions were used which further taught me how to suppress my natural self and showing a completely different version of mine, which I wasn’t at all me. Time taught me hypocrisy..!!
I was blamed for things I didn’t do, my soft voice trying to clarify my views, to defend myself, was shut through strong, shriek, shrill, loud cries. Time taught me to fight back..!! Should I feel thankful..??
I was laughed at for my simplicity, straight forward quests. My habit of smiling and greeting, treating all equally irrespective of social strata were ridiculed. Time taught me to judge..!! Should I be thankful..??
Today, I look at myself, not in a worldly mirror but in my mind’s reflection. Who’s this woman..?? Do I know her..?? Is this the one whom the Light sent on this earth..?? Naah..!!!!! She’s totally someone else..!!
Today, she’s busy defending herself, scared of being befriended and befooled, of being emotionally ill-treated. She’s too much cautious of her weaknesses, which now she finds were actually her strengths.
She lost her frequent smiles, she lost her touching tears, she lost her soulful love for the world, she forgot how to trust. She wasn’t made for this world, so Time killed her innocent ‘She’, so Time made her mean.
Yes, now I am sure, I’m thankful to Time, as it made me harsh, ruthless and confident enough to face this smart world. This world is only for the survival of the fittest, so it was Time who taught me to survive..!!