Thoughtsmith

… feelings & thoughts, scripted in fonts …

761. Feelings…

10 Comments

Forgot my Me…

Time.. Huhh..!!!!

It changed me wholly, and that too terribly. Time changed my thoughts, my ways of thinking. How..?? Time made me mean and in the meantime it made me confident too..!! Should I be thankful..??

The more I grew up, the more meanness I welcomed, the more confidence entered. Time showed me a wrong path, an avenue which showered flowers on each step I took forward..!! Should I be thankful..??

I got hurt and learnt disbelief, mistrust. My heart cried and cried and helped me learn how to wipe, kill, dry and bury them in my head box. Time taught me to murder my Self..!! Should I be thankful..??

My emotions were used which further taught me how to suppress my natural self and showing a completely different version of mine, which I wasn’t at all me. Time taught me hypocrisy..!!

I was blamed for things I didn’t do, my soft voice trying to clarify my views, to defend myself, was shut through strong, shriek, shrill, loud cries. Time taught me to fight back..!! Should I feel thankful..??

I was laughed at for my simplicity, straight forward quests. My habit of smiling and greeting, treating all equally irrespective of social strata were ridiculed. Time taught me to judge..!! Should I be thankful..??

Today, I look at myself, not in a worldly mirror but in my mind’s reflection. Who’s this woman..?? Do I know her..?? Is this the one whom the Light sent on this earth..?? Naah..!!!!! She’s totally someone else..!!

Today, she’s busy defending herself, scared of being befriended and befooled, of being emotionally ill-treated. She’s too much cautious of her weaknesses, which now she finds were actually her strengths.

She lost her frequent smiles, she lost her touching tears, she lost her soulful love for the world, she forgot how to trust. She wasn’t made for this world, so Time killed her innocent ‘She’, so Time made her mean.

Yes, now I am sure, I’m thankful to Time, as it made me harsh, ruthless and confident enough to face this smart world. This world is only for the survival of the fittest, so it was Time who taught me to survive..!!

………………………………….βœπŸΌπŸ’•

Author: The Typewriter

Nothing worth mentioning... πŸ˜‡πŸ˜‡

10 thoughts on “761. Feelings…

  1. I hear you on this – the innocence, the purity, the smile are the treasures of our being. I like to believe they are temporarily gone while we fortify ourselves with the strength of sovereignty and courage of vulnerability to be able to face the world in all its glory. I sincerely hope and wait to have it all return to us lovingly πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Yes, we do.. absolutely and desperately dear.. Thanks a bunch for your kindness, time and patience.. It means a lot in today’s world.. πŸ€—πŸ’•

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I agree, I have been put through a lot of toughening up like a boot camp, I do not like the way I feel at times. I was always considered innocent which in many things, I am still this person as I do not wish to learn the harsh evil ways of the world but I have to know about them. I love to smile at everyone and I find that I have to teach myself how to smile again difficult in a cruel world. I maintain my sovereignty through it all, I refuse to bow down to the creatures of the earth. Pulling God’s Light into my whole being to cleanse.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Yes, Nanette.. we love to stay intact, as we’re created.. We can hardly change our real selves for the artificial world.. πŸ€—πŸ€—

    Liked by 1 person

  5. True Debby I battle many days with myself and how I am reacting it is not my true self.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I can understand.. This is life and this is how it shapes us.. πŸ€—πŸ€—

    Like

  7. I hear you Debbie. Society makes us lose our essence, which is so integral to who we are. Sometimes it is hard to believe how life shapes us. Be true to yourself. Hoping you find your old self. Lots of love πŸ’

    Liked by 1 person

  8. True dear..Thanks a bunch Sweetest.. πŸ€—πŸ’•

    Like

  9. Humbled for your kind time and patient read.. πŸ˜‡πŸ™πŸΌ

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.